Divide and Conquer
by VintageSweetTea
Summary: When non-canons and canons attend highschool together, what could go wrong? Other than a lot of things. Karkat Vantas is informed that all of the boy dorms are filled, therefore, to attend the school, he must room with a female. Lemmi Odite is informed, to her irritation, that she must room with a male, Karkat Vantas. Suddenly, drama begins, the difficulty of sanity appears.


Sanity. That and my grasp on life are slowly fading. I can't seem to help it, no matter what I do. As of yesterday, I arrived in a god-forsaken compound, only to realize how populated it currently was. It seemed like the courtyard was crawling with vermin, already. Even two-whole weeks before school starts. After transporting my stuff to my dorm, I hid there. Which is where the current day starts.

Rolling out of my candy-apple pink and white polka dot bed. With a glance at the opposing side of the room, which remains empty, I collect my clothing from my still, unpacked bag. Out of my peripheral vision, the clock makes my heart stop, and my adrenaline rise. 8:50AM. Classes start at 9:00AM. Shit.

Pulling on pink-red skinny jeans, I begin to take off my shirt. Suddenly, a creak causes me to stop-mid strip. It's probably just your roommate. Turning around, I attempt to greet the newcomer.

"Hey! About time you got here-" My voice gets lost in my shreak. "You pervert! Get out!"

A boy, about my age, stands in the doorway, sporting a single bag. His face turns a red color, and he averts his eyes, obviously embarrassed. Semi-long blond hair covers part of his face, in an almost scene, but cute look. His eyes are a brown-red, matching the highlights in his hair. Braving my glare, he smirks at me.

"Sorry, Polka-dot. But the main office told me that I'm sharing this room with you. They said there weren't any rooms left in the boys dorm." The name polka-dot doesn't register, until I realize the position I now feature, with my chest facing him.

"Fuck. You," Is all I can manage to stutter out, before throwing my striped-pullover on, and snatching my beanie. Before I can exit rather ungraciously, he catches my arm.

"Look. I'm sorry, but you're stuck with me for a while. So get used to it. Once a room opens, I'll take it." Before I can jerk my arm away, and leave he chuckles. "And by the way, classes start in 13 days. So unless you're heading out to get breakfast, you have nowhere to go. And by looks of it, you should stay back and unpack." With a sigh, I turn around, and travel back to my pile of belongings.

About an hour later, we're both happy with our setup, including the few spare curtains to form a divider down the middle of our room.

"Okay. So, Polka-dot, I think I owe you breakfast. But don't think I care or anything, I just am sick of listening to your fucking stomach growl like a bear."

Making our way to the small Starbucks on campus, I frown at the blondie. Noticing my interest, he grins. God. He needs to stop doing that. "Like what you see, Polka-dot?"

With a glare, I shake my head. "Stop calling me that, Sir Asshat. And no. I'm just wondering why the hell you keep calling me that, and yet I have no idea what to call you."

"Kakat. My name is Karkat Vantas. I take it Polka-dot isn't your name?"

Dear god. This guy is probably the most irritating man I have ever met. "No. My name is Lemmi Odite, thank you very fucking much."

"Lemmi...It reminds me of a drunk man trying to hook-up with someone." Suddenly, we both start laughing. Maybe he could be slightly tolerable. Even if irritating.

Pushing open the cafe's door, we make our way to the line, only to be ambushed by a cup of *ice* coffee to the face.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God." I stammer, looking to Karkat through a veil of caffeine. The grin he once had is gone, as he registers that he too, is coated in the liquid.

"Who the hell did that?" His voice booms through the café, causing everyone to look in our direction. An intimidating, tan boy stands in our way. His long black hair hangs to his shoulders, brushing against a gold letterman jacket. A posse of what seem to be cheerleaders and other brutes donning jackets stand in his wake. Great. Just fucking great. What a wonderful impression on our highschool jocks.

"What happened, Vantas? Having a hard time getting laid, so you shacked up with a chick?"

This guy and I will go round and round. His remark hits a nerve with me, and for whatever, my normally timid personality is lost.

"What the hell did you say, you asshole? I will fucking have you know that this 'chick' is not just an object that people can get an easy A off of." Moving closer, I point my finger in his face, not caring about the good foot or two that he has over me. "It was without Karkat's nor my consent that we end up being roommates." And with that, I snatch Karkat's wrist, and drag him from the Cafe. Assholes. They never learn, I swear to god.

"Lemmi... Lemmi? Odite! Stop." Coming to an abrupt stop, I turn towards Karkat. "God, Lemmi. I'm really sorry. I may have gotten you one of the worst reputations to ever grace these halls."

With a chuckle, I shake my head. "Honestly speaking, it was good to yell at him. No one should have a copious amount of asshole in them, but apparently some do." Suddenly two petite girls run up, one slightly asian, and wearing a blue cat hat. The other red-headed and completely casual, with a layered top, and a pink hibiscus in her hair.

The asian speaks first, her voice holding a slight purr. "Hi there! I'm Nepeta, and this is Zoya." The red-head blushes, and gives a small name. "I heard you stood up to Equius! I think that you two would pawsitively purrfect for our group, what do you think?"

Glancing at an equally confused Karkat, I frown. "Group? For what?"

'Nepeta' rolls her eyes, but Zoya responds. "Well, we were thinking about making an Anti-bullying club. But if you aren't interested, thats okay."

"That sounds so fucking awf-"

"We'll do it." I blurt, trying to stop Vantas from hurting the poor girls' feelings.

"Okay! Well, I purrpose that we go eat breakfast, Zoya here is a fantastic cook!"

And that, is how we ended up at Zoya and Nepeta's dorm, eating pancakes and bacon like there wasn't a care in the world.


End file.
